Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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