The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
