I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize