do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
