I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
