Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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