white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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