I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
