Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
