Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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