I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
