For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize