I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
nutella sex= disaster
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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