So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
