We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
