your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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