I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
