I didn't shave. On purpose
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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