I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
