I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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