I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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