I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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