yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
