what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
