tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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