Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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