ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
