Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
