The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize