Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
