We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
