a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
