i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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