she was so not down for the gang bang
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
