So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
