It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
