I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
