i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
