i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
