I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize