Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
