Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
