I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
