help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
