Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize