My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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