Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Mom said you looked used
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
