Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
