Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
