I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
