Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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