I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
