I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
