umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
