a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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