Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
