You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
