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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
