his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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