he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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