the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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