i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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