he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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