Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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