I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
