She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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