i'm signing you up for texting rehab
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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