I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
