morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
