I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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