why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
