I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
