I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
