I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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