i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Text me some of your sweat
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