i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
