I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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